After much deliberation..

The name list was long and learning the gender on Monday didn't help us as much as we hoped.  Great debate ensued and... 

FINALLY a name was decided upon for our newest arrival!

Emerson Byrne Noble

Born July 9th, 2012

at 8:13 am

8 lbs, 12 oz., 20" long

Time will Tell...

Time was quickly approaching.  Fortunately things just fell into place beautifully for Grandma to schedule a trip to Utah for the summer without having to spill the beans.  We all played it cool as cucumbers.  We even took care to keep our online video skype calls shoulders and above.  If she had any inkling of an idea she didn't let on.  She was coming to accomplish all sorts of projects and complete some long awaited genealogy and scanning and sorting and computer woes.  In other words a typical visit with all the same projects, only this time she was staying long enough to do something about them.  I felt a little guilty that our little surprise would take some time away from the plan but we were sure she would adjust and understand.

Her date of arrival was drawing closer and obviously the apple doesn't fall far from the tree.  She decided to surprise us with her exact arrival date.  We had an idea of which dates she might come and were checking for any indications that she was on the road, such as no emails for a 24 hour period.  Channa was nervous that the surprise might be more of a shock and didn't want to miss the arrival and reveal.  She also had started in on another round of hounding to be able to drop hints and just generally be a leak. 

Grandma arrived in record time as she often does on her drives and I received a phone call letting me know that her arrival would be imminent if we wanted to all be together.  I placed myself at the table busily working on some mending at the sewing machine as all the kids bombarded her and she came in the house.  Channa texted that she was on her way... WAIT til she gets there she wanted to see the reaction.  I sewed as slowly as I could so I didn't have to get up from the table and the kids gave Grandma a tour of things in the house and generally talked her ear off.  Channa finally arrived and Grandma returned to the area I was tucked away in.  I walked towards her and after only a moment or two, her jaw dropped and her eyes popped out of her head and she remained quite speechless for a few minutes.  Then there were a lot of "Oh my!... Oh My!!"  Everyone was laughing and she was still saying "Oh My!!"  Eventually she moved on to questions like, When? and What? and How did I not know?  Then the nitty gritty...WHY?

We inducted her as the most reluctant member of the club!  She was certain that she would be forever unforgiven by those did not yet know if she didn't leak something of a hint to them.  She spent the next month badgering, pleading and tormenting regarding permission to send a hint. 

The only thing in our favor was that she was COMPLETELY on board with the fact that we didn't know the gender.  She also became very involved in the feud over possible baby names.  With all the excitement of the surprise baby, and  not knowing the gender, the names had been very difficult to decide on and as the weeks, became days.... and even hours... no name was decided on.

The final weeks and days encountered a few more unusual circumstances.  I experienced my first and horrible charlie horse.  The pain was terrible and then the pressure in my leg seemed to remain for the rest of the pregnancy.  At my next appointment a few days later I explained the feeling to the Dr. and he insisted on an ultrasound of my leg to rule out any blood clots.  So I experienced a strange ultrasound of the leg.  No clots, so I was cleared to resume life.  Braxton Hicks contractions were becoming so common that I wondered if I'd know if I ever went into labor.  I was also experiencing so much lower pelvic pressure that I was positive this baby was going to fall out one afternoon on it's own.  I heard from everyone that saw me... from neighbours, Whittaker's school teachers to complete strangers that I was carrying so low, I must be ready to pop!  Of course I had to reply... 'not for a few more weeks.'

Mum and I even thought I was carrying quite low, so we came up with an idea of how to compare to see if it was lower than ususal.... an odd idea.....  I didn't have a lot of photos of me pregnant with my other children but I did know of a photo of me taken a few days before Whittaker was born.  I could recreate the photo and we could do a side by side comparison..... 

Aug. 2009 - Whittaker

June 2012 - New Baby

 Ok.. so not all our ideas were brilliant.  And neither photo is flattering, nor what I envision myself as.

We gave up trying to figure anything out based on the location of my belly or how I was carrying and settled into the month just trying to accomplish as much as possible.  It was still a busy month with flute lessons, science classes, scouts, girl's camp, Caleb's two scout camps and day camps for Miles and Duncan, Whittaker's school, a trip to the Ranch, primary activities, and regular day to day school and chores.  We also squeezed a few hundred hours of genealogy into every spare moment and we tackled more than a few major nesting projects... like the garden shed, the back yard, the storage closets, kitchen cabinet purging, freezer clean out, and the downstairs bathroom remodel... oh and we babysat the Connolly three. If there was any chance that I might go into labor naturally... this month would have done it!

No such luck.

As I sit here this evening with my hospital bag packed and the camera charged ready to check in at the scheduled time tomorrow morning, I reflect on the last months and wonder how it can possibly be here already and at the same time wonder how it took so long to get here!  All the worries over being sure that Whittaker was potty trained and how would he accept a crib being set up where he used to sleep and how is he going to adjust to the new arrival are the past.  We will simply see how things go from here.  Only time will tell how the adjustment will be.... what the gender will be..... if we'll ever decide on a name....

So until the next update ......

Now what?!!!

I was finally feeling better from the morning sickness portion, something I had pretty much avoided previously with my pregnancies.  This had been a definite eye opener to me that pregnancy at this age stunk! The periodic fainting, or dizziness was still present though and now it seemed the heartburn and hand swelling were beginning. It seemed that these issues were happening sooner than I remembered in the past.  My friend was more than overly concerned about every aspect of my pregnancy now and I had to report to not only my Dr., but also to her.  I kept my complaining to a minimum, instead I did what was within my power to do.   I was being ever so diligent about my diet so that the heartburn would be lessened and I drank so much water I'm surprised I ever left the bathroom. I had given up, onions, garlic, cooked tomatoes, chocolate, salt, citrus, then all sweets, including my ever favourite... ice cream!!

Then the Dr. appointment that is most dreaded!.  The routine gestational diabetes test.  It came back too high. It was only April. There were almost three months left. Further testing was done to determine the treatment that would be prescribed. The test was long and boring. I had to drink a double dose of glucose tolerance beverage, after having fasted for 12 hours and taking an initial blood draw for a base line. Then after each hour another blood draw over the next three hours. No food. No water. I felt for those I knew who have to live with diabetes on a much more daily basis. Even with this annoying test and three months of testing and monitoring, I had an end in sight for my brush with diabetes. Once baby is born, I go back to normal. I was also assured that baby's risk for developing diabetes were slim to none due to the gestational diabetes. I was even told that baby could be delivered earlier since often they are larger in size with this condition. Ahh, a silver lining to this cloud, my end might not even be as far away as I originally thought.  I was fortunately only borderline with the results of the further testing and could control the diabetes through diet and exercise and wouldn't need the shots.  The restricted foods brought even more limitations to what I could eat, and the family has been supportive in their own way.  They are excellent at pointing out and reminding me what I can not eat, or when I should be getting on the treadmill for a walking session... they aren't all excited that when Mummy can't eat it.... she doesn't tend to prepare it for them and so therefore, their diets have been altered slightly as well.  It's not as though it's a bad thing.  There simply haven't been hardly any sweets in the house for the last three months, no high glycemic fruits or veggies, essentially no empty carbs in the form of white flour or pasta, and not much in the variety arena. 


From the time I began the gestational diabetes diet, I noticed a few things.  The heartburn frequency lessened.  It wasn't gone completely, but it didn't start in the morning and never leave anymore.  I was finding I could go days between heartburn sessions, then a whole week, and finally it was a rare thing to have heartburn.  Another perk to the diet was that the swelling that I had been experiencing in the cool weather of March, was practically gone as well.  And finally the last thing I noticed was that the weight gain that I had initially panicked about from the first two trimester, seemed to stop.  In the first two trimesters, I had gained as much weight as I typically had for all my previous pregnancies.  I delivered all my children when I reached a weight of between 160 and 164 lbs.  At only 25 weeks I had already reached 162..   Either baby's arrival was imminent or I was looking ahead to 15 more weeks of weight gain that I didn't like the looks of.  But like I said, the weight gain came to a screeching halt.  In the 15 weeks that followed, I gained a whopping 2lbs.  I checked over and over with the Dr. that all was well and assured him that I was indeed still eating just all the correct foods.

Lastly I began in earnest to argue with my Dr.  I felt very confident in my dates and also in my ability to give birth naturally even after 4 c-sections.  Every appointment somehow he won.  I firmly disagreed with his diagnosed due date by almost a complete month!  He would not be persuaded.  I was in it for ten months whether I liked it or not!  Fine, I agreed to his dates, with the assumption on my part that with all that extra time, I would likely go into labor and just prove him wrong on both counts, due date and natural childbirth!  I even scheduled the c-section due date when he suggested, just to humor him!  

And then....

It wasn't long until we learned that our good friends were also expecting, just one month after us. Now there was even more excitement.  I knew how long they had been wanting to be pregnant and had felt a little awkward when I told her that I was, so it was so exciting to think we could be pregnant together.  She had been the first person to know of our news and we were the first to know of hers.  We definitely thought it would be exciting until things like morning sickness hit... but all day.  And neither of us felt like doing anything.  And I mean nothing at all.  Between the two of us our nine children were not impressed with our lack of energy, lack of desire for food, except the odd craving and certainly not excited about the nauseousness that just wouldn't settle down.  However they were excited for the underlying reasons behind it and we found it was almost all they discussed.

"Won't it be fun if they're both boys or both girls?"...  "I bet they'll be best friends."...
Thankfully as we both neared the end of our first trimesters, the energy levels were beginning to return to a normal level and not all foods triggered an intense reaction to heave. 

We had a field trip scheduled with the kids to see 'Don Quixote' the ballet.  We enjoyed the performance, even the boys left the theater with a few leaps learned and funny anecdotes that they had liked.  But, the excitement was short lived.  As we were leaving, something was wrong.  While sitting through the performance all had been fine, but as soon as my friend stood she could sense that something didn't feel quite normal.  There was a strange feeling of pressure and even something like her purse was just too heavy for her to lift.  We walked very slowly back to my van and I drove home.  Once she was sitting in the van again she felt fine and began to wonder if she was losing her mind, but as we arrived at her house and she got out, that feeling of pressure returned and we knew something was amiss.  She called her Dr. and immediately went to have things checked out.  Things weren't meant to be and so at the end of February after only three and a half months of excitement, the kids and I all mourned along with their family for the loss of their exciting news.  It was little consolation that our trip to the ballet had not been the trigger, the baby had died a few days earlier.  We were simply in shock and sadness. 

Their loss hung over us for a while.  It was as though we had been expecting two babies and now it would only be the one.   I knew I couldn't stay away from my friend, she needed comfort and company, but I was finding myself emotionally struggling with their loss as well.  It was so different now.  We talked about pregnancy and baby every time we got together and now I couldn't think about it without welling up and I knew that she wasn't needing a friend who was an hormonally, emotional wreck over it.  I needed to be there for her, regardless of my growing belly in the way to remind her and I that it was just one now.  The kids talked about how nice it was not to have too many people knowing too soon when something sad happens.  I couldn't decide how I felt now about our Mum's the word pact.  Did I want to tell anyone at all now?  I hadn't really anticipated the club going much past 4 months or so, I figured the cat would be out of the bag somehow, but now I had to agree with the kids, I didn't really want to talk about anything. 

The next month as she struggled through a D&C, and recovery and getting back into routine, I had another appointment and the ultrasound.  As the day approached for the ultrasound I made another decision.  If we weren't making a big announcement about the upcoming baby, then I could also forgo learning the gender at the ultrasound appointment.  I had tried unsuccessfully with other pregnancies to be surprised.  -- I found out that Caleb was a boy 2 weeks shy of his birth because a nurse assumed we already knew.  Sarah we asked.  Miles we asked.  Duncan we decided to be surprised, but by the time I had over 10 ultrasounds with his placental tearing problems, we knew every body part that he had!  Whittaker was supposed to be a surprise to me, the Dr. took Sarah into the hall to tell her the gender but he had been wrong and when a follow up ultrasound for sizing was taken a few months later, he offered to waive  his fees if Whittaker wasn't a boy! -- So armed with the kids and the phrase "DO NOT TELL US THE GENDER!", we made it through the ultrasound none the wiser.  In fact the technician agreed not to put it in the file or tell the Dr. so that there wouldn't be a chance for any mishaps.  (I agreed to this, I had to ... there were a few too many witnesses with me, but I had secretly wondered if I would be able to contain my curiosity and might have asked the Dr. at a later appointment.) 

I knew that keeping the announcement a surprise would be easy to do from those who were out of town, until we attended a wedding in Pat's family.   There wouldn't be a simple way to hide the bump that I was obviously carrying around under my dress!  It was nice to have a chance to share excitement again after the weeks before.  It may have even been healing in some ways.  

Can you keep a secret?

............  We had planned some surprises for an event with scouts earlier that year and had had to have a discussion with the kids about how telling everyone about it had pretty much spoiled the surprise factor. This was a chance for them to redeem themselves from being known as blabber mouths. So the rules. We didn't have to tell. The dilemma arose when they asked, “What's the difference between keeping this secret and lying?” So we determined that no lies would be allowed. If someone asked a question, it was to be answered honestly. We couldn't give leading hints. We knew that those in the same city would likely be in the know long before others would, but we determined we would induct them into the 'Mum's the Word' club when the time presented itself.

That was early in November.

We made it through all the holidays, visiting with family and friends at different get togethers and activities without needing to say boo. The excitement was mounting from how well our little club was doing at guarding our surprise. January slipped by with a few neighbours who were more forthright in their wonderings who joined our club. Then February almost disappeared before we had our first big reveal. We had known that people in our neighbourhood were likely to know sooner than other friends but we also knew that the family who lived locally would likely be in the know much sooner than most, so we were surprised when with each activity, meeting or get together no questions ever arose. Finally on a calm Saturday morning after I had been forced into wearing maternity clothes for well over 7 weeks, Channa, in a shocked voice, and seemingly out of the blue, asked, “Are you pregnant?”

Everyone laughed and we inducted her into the club. She was a tough nut to induct with her ever questioning the rules... “I can't even tell John or the kids?” “How about the family that lives far away?” We told her we felt she was the weakest link in our club and we would know who the leak was if the surprise was out of the bag too soon. We had little faith in her surprise keeping ability! We'd witnessed too many birthday and Christmas leaks. She agreed to do her best.

Mum's the Word...

Sometimes the fun is in the knowing not the telling. 

It did not originate this way. 

In fact for many weeks we labored over how to creatively announce the upcoming excitement. Unfortunately, we were drawing such a blank that nothing happened by default. Then the clincher came in an unusual manner. I wasn't feeling too well. (to be expected I suppose in this situation) I had meetings and other obligations to attend to and one meeting was late in the evening. It had been a long and tiring day and I already felt queasy. During the meeting however, perhaps the stuffy room, the boring nature of the discussion, the stress of the content of the meeting, who knows, but I felt the room begin to sway and I was slowly losing the ability to focus. I was fainting. It happened gradually and I managed to stay sitting in my chair but my breathing and odd behaviour was noticed. On the way home I had to confess that I would be fine in a few long months and they laughed and offered congratulations. 

I hadn't considered that I should tell these ladies that it wasn't a well known fact yet, or that my children were not in the know. Perhaps I should have but it opened an interesting conversation just the next day. A phone call requesting some string and a basket from one of the ladies came and I sent the kids walking over to her house a block away to deliver them. Before they could return a second call from this lady apologizing for her big mouth. She had assumed they knew. She had simply asked if they were excited about a new baby. As I hung up with her I was surrounded by three children with questions. I confirmed that yes it was true. I explained that I hadn't really made an announcement yet since it was still a long ways off and there are things that can go wrong sometimes so it isn't something I tend to announce too soon. We talked a little bit about rumors, gossip and minding your own business. I was not really upset with this lady. I just used this as a chance to remind my children that there are some things to be shared openly and publicly and some things that need to wait for the opportune moment. I also explained that I had been struggling with how to creatively announce. 

We decided that afternoon on a plan. We created the 'Mum's the Word' plan. This was our exciting bit of news. It was something that we would be looking forward to and preparing for and that there weren't really any others who knowing about it would be affected in any way if they new in November or if they knew in June or July. Knowing about upcoming appointments or statuses of my morning sickness, or swollen hands would not change anyone's day to day except ours.............

When ye are prepared ye shall not fear....

But what happens when you are prepared and then things change?

Like in April when we went to the Dr. appt. and Sarah learned the gender of the baby. She was a very good secret keeper and it took a whole week to convince her to tell us. She insisted that we wait until Daddy came back to town to tell us that we were having a girl! She was very excited.

She and I began picking up sweet little pink items and preparing the baby area. We were feeling quite confident by the end of May that we needed very little else to be ready and now just needed some time to start flying by so we could meet this little bundle that would be swaddled in plenty of pink. We were also still trying to solidify a name although we had narrowed it down to a short list at least.In early June at another Dr. appt. the doctor asked if we had any names picked out yet? We shared our short list and then I asked a question... "So, when you told Sarah the gender, would you say you were 100%? I mean we have a lot of pink at our house now..." He offered to do another ultrasound and give us some reassurance...

Except that it didn't exactly work that way. Instead he said, "Baby isn't cooperating and I just can't really tell... I can't say it is, but I can't say it isn't a girl. Perhaps the baby will cooperate better next time."

Doubt... there is a doubt now? Sarah wasn't concerned. The Dr. just couldn't tell this time, we'd get our confirmation next time. Two weeks of wondering crept by very slowly and we were early for our next appt. The baby was more cooperative this time.... And Dr said, "Did I say it was a girl or a boy?" Sarah quickly piped up with "a girl."... "I hope you can exchange your pink for blue.", he replied. He insists that he'll be very surprised if this isn't a boy at delivery. So, after 10 weeks of preparing for the pink explosion and playing with little girl names, we came home from the appt. rather somber. Not that we aren't excited about having a baby boy. Not at all. We have experience with boys! Sarah was deflated and disappointed though. She truly was looking forward to a sister. We took all the little outfits off of the pink hangers in the closet and folded them up. We folded the little satin pink blankets and put away the lacy bonnets.

At this point it's early July, I'm fatter than I was when I was preparing before, it's starting to get hot and Sarah is certain that we won't be able to find cute boy things like we did so easily for a little girl. We did our best... and she's come around. She'll hold this baby, even if it is a boy now and she's excited to take it for walks in the stroller. It took a little longer to prepare the second time around but Sarah tested everything out thoroughly, the carseat even had to have a doll strapped in and she carried it around. She's folded and refolded blankets, rearranged the changing area a few times and we ended up not hanging the boy clothes instead opting for using the dresser drawers.
I worried that we had set up the crib a tad bit early but it turned out to be a wise move since we had to train the kitties that this was NOT a nice new place for them to sleep. We kept a spray bottle next to the crib and gave them a squirt whenever we saw them in it. They've learned their lesson.. and now we've washed the baby bedding one last time before baby's arrival!

I didn't think it would be a big deal to prepare the 5th time around and instead it seems to have been more fun preparing with the kids than it ever was by myself. Sarah isn't the only one excited to try out all the baby gear. Everyone got in on the action getting things ready. This baby is expected to play with toys on the way home from the hospital, and will need at least three outfits between the hospital and home, according to the hospital bag the kids prepared for me!

I guess we'll know for sure if we are well enough prepared when we come home in a few days and of course if the Dr. knew what he was talking about back in April or in late June.