Grandma's visit this time has created many a funny moment. Not necessarily due to Grandma but because of one joke that was only funny if you were here, Grandma tried to teach the kids about 'inside jokes'. They caught on and enjoyed having a little inside joke and Mummy and Daddy were completely baffled about their laughter much of the time. Finally at dinner when they broke out in laughter once again we were told... It's an internal joke. Which of course made all of us laugh... and we created yet another 'inside joke'... and will likely always refer to them as 'internal' forever more. Or so I thought until Sarah nonchalantly responded to something she was laughing about and we were giving her quizzical looks with, "It's one of those "eternal" jokes".
I think 'eternal' jokes is appropriate anyway... I mean they're jokes that only some people get and are forever funny. All it takes is the mere mention of something and we're all snickering. It's like saying "My lips hurt real bad." or "I've fallen and I can't get up." or "That's all I got to say 'bout that." and one just knows and appreciates the humor. Now we can say.. "It may be stinky, but it doesn't make it bad." or "3:00, and no chickens out." or "I threw it in the canal." or "Should I call the police?" or "Maybe she's having a feature." or "That's because of the aliens." and we all smile or snicker!
I can let you in on the background of them... but it may not be as funny.... Sometimes you just have to be there.
- "It may be stinky, but it doesn't make it bad."
One night after a 2 am feeding I wasn't the only one who had woken. Apparently, Grandma, Caleb and Sarah had all woken as well. I went back to bed though. Patrick who had also been awake but hadn't been up asked what was going on. I replied, "Oh, we were just having a 2 am party in the bathroom. You missed it. Go back to sleep." Little did I know that I was the one who missed it!
The rest had returned down stairs but hadn't been able to sleep and chatted for more than an hour. One of the things they discussed was a friend they like to play with whose parents smoke. Sarah expressed that she preferred to play with her friend here rather than there because their house was a little stinky. Throughout their 2 am party the phrase "it may be stinky but it doesn't make it bad." continued to come up and they erupted in laughter. Now weeks after the 2am party they still laugh and use the phrase whenever it seems fitting. Sometimes reversing it to say, It may be bad, but it doesn't make it stinky...
- "3:00 and no chickens out!"
For the last few months we've struggled with our chickens escaping their chicken coop and endangering their lives but running amok in the yard with Opus. We resorted to keeping Opus locked up on the deck... or at least we tried. With many children and adults coming and going off the deck frequently, the gate invariably would be left unlatched and a panic call would come, "Opus is off the deck". Sometimes the call was "There's a chicken out!" and kids would come running and retrieve the chicken to return it to the coop. Some chickens didn't fare as well as others. Two weekends ago after an incident that I'll fill you in on in a moment, the coop was fortified a little better and we no longer see chickens out. However we've become so accustomed to looking out the window to check on chickens that now we call out... "3:00 and no chickens out".
As I said, chickens have been getting out. Chasing chickens was an often more than daily occurrence. It was beginning to try even my patience with the chickens...(although admittedly, I would often call the 'chicken out' alarm... I never actually chased them myself). One quiet Sunday afternoon, a chicken was out. Opus was also off the deck. Daddy was home and was recruited to chase said chicken. Said chicken was actually the rooster! Comically, Daddy unsuccessfully chased the rooster for more than 10 minutes, the kids helped. Miles suddenly came running in and told us that Daddy needs help quick. Apparently in chasing the rooster he had run around the sandbox and mistakenly kicked a metal fence post that was sticking up out of the ground. We found him laying on the grass nursing a very sore and purple toe. Miles had plenty of sympathy since he had a similarly ailing toe from the week before's neighbourhood shoeless soccer mishap.
Certain that he had broken his toe, the rooster chase was called off and Opus locked up. The rooster won... that time. Pat soon had the coop reinforced... Grandma then re-reinforced it a little more and since then... No chickens out!
- "I threw it in the canal."
About a week or so after Pat initially hurt his toe, he came in the house limping terribly and grimacing in pain. I asked what had happened. "I stubbed a brick." I couldn't resist.... I know it wasn't empathetic in the least but I asked... "How is the brick?"
After a short pause, Patrick replied, "I picked it up and threw it in the canal." I was stunned. "You what?" He hadn't really. He just didn't get why I asked about the brick. I explained the grammatical error that caused me to ask about the brick and not his toe... then Grandma came in the room and seeing Patrick with ice on his foot, a second time in less than a week, she asked what had happened. Stifling a laugh, I said.. "Pat stubbed a brick."
Immediately she asked, "How's the brick?" Pat and I replied simultaneously that he had thrown it in the canal. Then we all laughed! Now anything that goes awry gets threatened to be thrown in the canal!
- "Should we call the police?"
A few weeks ago, I received a phone call from the apartment manager from Dad's apt. complex. She was concerned that he hadn't been seen him in a few days and that his car hadn't moved from its' parking spot. I am listed as the emergency contact. She wondered if we had heard from him lately. It had been a few days since we had spoken with him. She said she was going to call the police and have them do a health and welfare check.
Grandma and I were at a local community center sitting on a tile floor with her laptop because the kids had State testing and we were just waiting. We were unsure if this action was necessary but what if it was? We told her to hold off and we'd try calling around and then let her know. We called and no reply at home or work. hmmm... what to do? We weren't at home and didn't have access to the address book that might have other numbers so we called Sparky to help. He successfully called some other work numbers but to no avail. Channa by now was also chatting with us. What should we do? After about 45 minutes we all determined to let the manager go ahead with her health and welfare check. At least we'd be able to rule out that he was sick or at home.
Dad arriving home by taxi from the department of motor vehicles, where he had been renewing his drivers license, was so flummoxed by the commotion that greeted him and being asked by the police if he was all right, that he left his favourite new baseball cap in the taxi! He wasn't at work because he'd taken the day off to go to the DMV. His car hadn't moved because of course he didn't have a current valid license. Dad was touched by the concern, but wished it hadn't cost him a hat.
Sparky called us later during the day to see how it had all worked out. We didn't answer soon enough and he had to call back. When we answered he humorously told us that he almost called the police to check on us!
Now if someone doesn't answer the phone or come right away when we call them from upstairs we tell them, "I was worried, I almost called the police!"
- "Is she having a feature?"
Grandma has some medical issue that she refers to as her 'episodes'. Possibly TIA's or silent migraines, they leave her incoherent and unable to function normally for a few minutes each time. She also has no memory of her actions during the time that they are occurring. She had one of such episodes while visiting last spring and the kids weren't sure what to think of Grandma. Her speech was slurred, she didn't make sense and she couldn't remember who people were. But all was well in a few minutes.
This visit, she sat down to play a game of checkers with Miles. Duncan was watching intently. Grandma was quite confused with the game. "This isn't right. Something isn't working." I was teasing that just because she wasn't winning doesn't mean that something is wrong with the game... but maybe her. She wondered if it was a real checker board and insisted on counting the squares. She was adamant that something wasn't right.
Duncan quietly asked me, "Is she having a feature?" He meant episode but we love feature now. It's when someone is just acting odd and it's not a medical abnormality.
And the checkerboard was set up incorrectly!
"That's because of the aliens."
Duncan is so gullible. He is completely convinced of the alien story for Miles head. We started using the alien story to explain why essentially anything out of the ordinary happened. Why Grandma has episodes or 'features', how it is that Mummy can wiggle her ears but no one else can... anything unusual.... As for Duncan.. if you can't beat em', join em'!!
So perhaps you had to be there to find the humor... but we're enjoying our 'eternal' jokes immensely!
